Stairway to Heaven
by WindStar
Summary: Jack's thoughts as he's dying. He thinks about his past, future, and present. And wonders if he can be saved.


**Stairway to heaven**

**Windstar : I don't own the song, I own nothing but the plot, hell, I don't even own the title...**

**Chapter One : **

"BOBBY!"

Screaming

Panic

Anger

Worry

Fear

Blood

Devastation

Uncertainty

HELP

"BOBBY!"

I'm falling. Falling into a world of no tomorrow. Falling through the veil of life and death. Falling downward.

Spiraling, into the abyss of hatred.

I'm dying…and I know it.

"I'M COMING JACKIE!"

Can I wait? Can I hold on? The pain's overtaking my body and soul. I'm not sure anymore…

"Bobby…"

I can't scream anymore, my throat hurts too much, I can feel blood in my mouth. I can feel the pain shine in my eyes. I can see the wings of people who died long ago.

I can see my mother.

I can't see my brothers. But I hear them fighting. Fighting for me. I hear a door slam, and I turn my head to see Jerry in his car. Is he coming for me?

Is he going to save me? Am I going to live? Will I live?

He isn't moving. He's staring straight at me, he's not moving. Does he want me to die? I don't know anymore.

I hear more shots, I scream for Bobby he screams for me to hold on. I hear more shots and I see Angel's fleeting form leaving my room and going into mom's solarium. Will I be saved? Will he save me?

He guns down a man coming towards the house, I'm chocking on saliva now. Mucus trailing from my nose and blood falls from my shoulder and legs. I watch out of the corner of my eyes as Bobby runs out and tackles the last man. He's beating him. He doesn't see the van coming towards him. Angel's trying to move him. Jerry rams his car into the van and they're saved…

Am I saved? Will they save me? No. I can see nothing now. My breath is leaving me. I can feel my lung collapsing. I can feel my legs' pain disappearing. I'll not survive today.

They're screaming for me to hold on. Bobby has his hands on my face, but I can't hold on anymore. The pain's too great. The pain that's been killing me since my parents tried to kill me long ago. The pain that I felt when they left me for dead. The pain I felt when Evelyn took me in. The pain when Sweet was bullying me. The pain I felt when Bobby abandoned me.

The pain for the want of death.

Bobby, he was always with me if I needed him. Only once did our trust waver in each other. And now I know he'll always fight for me. Now I know he was truly with me, always.

Angel, he taught me how to fight. He taught me how to ride a bike when Bobby was in jail, and Jerry was studying. Angel taught me how to drive. He brought me to my first concert. He was my big brother. He would have died trying to save me.

Jerry…he left me for dead. He could have helped me. Now he'll have to wait for an absolution that will never come…I will die now because of him.

And yet, I feel fine. I'm ready to let go. I'm ready to drown myself in the heavenly caress of death.

Goodbye everyone.

I've left now. I can see myself, I can see my brothers crying. I can see Sofi trying to call the police in vain. I can see the clouds opening. A hand has touched mine.

I turned and I see a kindly face of a young angel girl. She holds my hand and leads me to a long staircase that leads into the sun. I take one final glance at Bobby. He's just shot the man who was driving the van. He's on his knees screaming at the skies. He's begging for me to come back. I felt the tears in my eyes that were not eyes.

I moved to go to him, to try to come back. The hand on mine grips me harder, and I turn to see her face has changed to a demons. I cannot move, as I watch her return to normal, and she takes me up the staircase I leave them behind.

My beloved brothers, and the one who could have saved me.

I walk the stairs in vain. Only more stairs appear.

Hours of walking, hours of hiking.

Only to not see where I'm going.

I look up again and see at last a flat ground.

My feet touch the flat stage, and I am immediately surrounded by faces.

I look down at myself, I'm young again, a child of maybe seven. I look up and there's a woman. A younger version of her stood before me. But I knew her face. I knew her voice. I knew her eyes.

"Mother?" I whispered looking at her oddly. She nodded and opened her arms.

I ran to them and embrace her. I can be with her now though…nothing can change that.

Weeks have passed. Mother and I watched my funeral from above.

They're rebuilding the earth down below. I was told I was allowed to show myself four times only to those I love most.

I go with mom as she descends. While she talks to Bobby for five minutes, I go to Angel.

He sees me for only a second, before looking away. He double takes.

"Jackie!" He asked.

"Don't worry about me…" I said softly with a smile. "I'm fine…and I saw mom. She's fine too."

That was all the time I had with him. So I left to find Bobby, knowing that Mom was done.

I found him in my room, clutching my most prized possession. He was reading the pages slowly.

I can't find the anger that I wish to express. I walk to him. He looks up. Not surprised to see me it seems.

"How's mom…?" He asked. I told her she was fine.

"Find my thoughts interesting?" He shook his head.

"No. I find them misleading." I frowned.

"Why?" He smirked.

"Everything's saying you're happy and getting over all your pain…so why did you die?" He asked. I couldn't answer.

"Thank you Bobby." He gave me a look. "For trying to help me." He sighed.

"Always for you." And I disappeared to find Jerry.

I found him talking with his wife in the garage. Amelia and Daniella were playing in the living room. I left Jerry, I can't talk to him. I removed two of my feathers from my wings and quickly tied them into necklaces using gold thread from my attire.

I kissed them both and wished them happy lives, and gave them the necklaces. They took them and stared in awe as I burst into flames, and was sent back to the land of the dead.

As I rewalked the stairs. I looked back once more. And sighed.

"Good bye." I turned around, and listened to the choir of angels as they sang with heavenly voices.

_There´s a lady who´s sure all that glitter is gold._

_And she´s buying a stairway to heaven._

_And when she gets there she knows if the store are closed._

_With a word she can get what she came for._

_There´s a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure._

_Cause she know sometimes words have two meanings._

_In a tree by the brook there´s a song bird who sings sometimes._

_All of our thougts are misgiven._

_There´s a feeling I get when I look to the west._

_And my spirit is crying for leaving._

_In my thougts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,_

_And the voices of those who stand looking._

_And it´s whispered that soon if we all call the tne._

_Then the piper will lead us to reason._

_And a new day will dawn for those who stand long._

_And the forests will echo with laughter._

_And it makes me wonder._

_If there´s a bustle in your hedgerow don´t be alarmed now._

_It´s just a spring clean for the May-Queen._

_Yes there two paths you can go by._

_But in the long run._

_There´s still time to change the road you´re on._

_Your head is humming and it won´t go - in case you don´t know._

_The pipers calling you to join him._

_Dear lady can you hear the wind blow._

_And did you know_

_your stairway lies on the whispering wind._

_And as we wind on down the road._

_Our shadows taller than our soul._

_There walks a lady we all know._

_Who shines white light and wants to show._

_How everything still turns to gold._

_And if you listen very hard_

_the tune will come to you at last._

_When all are one and one is all._

_To be a rock and not to roll._

* * *


End file.
